Credit: <\/span>Getty \/ Aresna Villanueva<\/cite><\/p>\nThis break-up felt different, because it was unexpected, which has a lot to do with the couple\u2019s longevity \u2013 they were married for 27 years \u2013 and their ages. Jackman is 54, while Furness is 67.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a view \u2013 albeit a potentially naive one \u2013 that the relationship between two people who\u2019ve been together for decades, and who are now considered middle-aged, is unbreakable. However, the reality isn\u2019t as romantic, with research showing that Jackman and Furness are part of a larger divorce trend, known as \u201cgrey divorce\u201d.<\/p>\n
The term grey divorce was coined for older adults \u2013 usually aged over 50 and from long-lasting marriages \u2013 calling it quits. In Australia, the rate of these break-ups has increased steadily over the past four decades.<\/p>\n
Looking to the future<\/h3>\n
Figures released by the Australian Institute of Family Studies in March show more than one-quarter of the 56,244 divorces granted in 2021 involved couples who were married for 20 years or more, up from about one in five in the 1980s and 1990s. And while divorce rates dropped in other age demographics, there was an upward trend for all 50+ age groups getting divorced in 2021.<\/p>\n
Melbourne woman Liz is one person behind these figures.<\/p>\n
In 2021, at 60 years of age, Liz\u2019s 35-year marriage ended with what she describes as a heartbreaking, yet amicable divorce from her high school sweetheart.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was nothing scandalous, we just drifted apart \u2013 something which became very obvious when our youngest child left home in 2019,\u201d says Liz, who has chosen not to share her surname for privacy reasons.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted to travel the world \u2013 something I\u2019d put off while raising our family, and my ex-husband was happier playing tennis at the local club. We were two housemates coexisting together and we both knew that it would be better in the long run for us to separate.\u201d<\/p>\n
Elisabeth Shaw, chief executive of Relationships Australia NSW says that becoming empty nesters is a common period of life for grey divorces to be initiated.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt this stage, conversations about how the couple might spend their child-free years come up, and also their picture of retirement. It can be a time when they realise their dreams have become different, and for some, can\u2019t be reconciled,\u201d she says. \u201cThey can find being home together leads them to face their differences in confronting ways.\u201d<\/p>\n
Complex challenges<\/h3>\n
Other common instigators of grey divorce include retirement, family violence, infidelity and financial issues, says Adrian Curtis, principal lawyer for Australian Family Lawyers.<\/p>\n
\u201cPost-retirement can be a major trigger for divorces. We saw this during the COVID-19 lockdowns, as well,\u201d says Curtis.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuge changes to lifestyles have a big impact on relationships, so when norms change \u2013 such as both parties now being home all the time \u2013 this can change the roles each party has in a relationship and lead to new tensions and stressors.\u201d<\/p>\n
Grey divorce also has its own unique set of financial complexities and challenges that distinguish it from younger divorces, says Curtis.<\/p>\n
\u201cTypically, the asset pools are higher, owing to greater equity in the properties owned by the parties. The income of the parties may also be greater, due to time in the workforce. Alternatively, for post-retirement couples, the income may be far less. It is not unusual for these couples to be asset-rich, but with very low cash flow. The lower cash flow can have a dramatic impact on the way that separation occurs.\u201d<\/p>\n
Property settlement, unequal financial positions (which statistically disadvantage women), inheritance and superannuation are issues Curtis says those in grey divorces face, which can create serious complications and have a long-lasting impact on those involved.<\/p>\n
Emotional ties<\/h3>\n
Grey divorce can take its toll emotionally, says Shaw. \u201cWhile some might leave a relationship and feel hopeful about an alternative path, their partners can react very differently. Some feel devastated and like they have almost no options.\u201d<\/p>\n
While Liz and her ex-husband have remained on good terms throughout the divorce, she still found the experience challenging.<\/p>\n
\u201cBeing alone and single in my sixties is not at all what I had envisioned. The adjustment is difficult,\u201d she says. \u201cIt is like having someone close to you die: you go through grief, saying goodbye to someone, at least in the way you had always known them.\u201d<\/p>\n
In a joint statement shared with People<\/em>, Jackman and Furness wrote: \u201cWe have been blessed to share almost three decades together as husband and wife in a wonderful, loving marriage. Our journey now is shifting and we have decided to separate to pursue our individual growth.\u201d<\/p>\nLiz is also looking forward to new adventures as a single woman.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know I have many other opportunities in life to experience and that doing this on my own terms will bring me joy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our<\/i><\/b> Live Well newsletter<\/i><\/b>. <\/i><\/b>Get it in your inbox every Monday<\/i><\/b>.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nMost Viewed in Lifestyle<\/h2>\nFrom our partners<\/h3>\n
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