Lady Gaga bravely revealed the horrific story of her assault at 19 that lead her to continually struggle with mental health, tragically saying there are moments in which she still feels "worthless".
In the latest release from Prince Harry and Oprah Winfrey on Apple+, a documentary series on mental health titled The Me You Can’t See, Gaga spoke honestly about her assault.
The singer, whose real name is Stefani Germanotta, spoke of her experience in 2005 when a music producer told her to remove her clothes.
She said: "And I said 'no'. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all of my music. And they didn't stop. They didn't stop asking me, and I just froze and … I don't even remember."
The Rain On Me songstress said that she was eventually “dropped off pregnant on a street corner”.
Gaga spoke of the Me Too movement, where people come forward to discuss their assault and often name the person that harmed them but Gaga very honestly confessed to her own emotions about the incident, saying she was still scared and didn’t want to risk ever having anything to do with her attacked again by naming names.
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Discussing the long term effects of the assault, she courageously spoke about self harm and how it still affects her to this day.
She said: "Even if I have six brilliant months, all it takes is getting triggered once to feel bad. And when I say I feel bad, I mean I want to cut.
"It's a real thing to feel like there is a black cloud that is following you wherever you go, telling you that you are worthless and should die.
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"[I used to] think about dying. Wondering if I’m ever going to do it. I learned all the ways to pull myself out of it."
The singer went on to talk about how self harming doesn’t help long term but instead makes her feel worse.
As she rose to fame she didn’t seek help or treatment due to how busy her life had become.
She continued: “All of a sudden I started to experience this incredible intense pain throughout my entire body that mimicked the illness I felt after I was raped.”
After seeking help from a psychiatrist and her doctor, she was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and Fibromyalgia, a condition that causes sufferers to feel pain all over the body.
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She said of the condition: “The way that I feel when I feel pain was how I felt after I was raped. I've had so many MRIs and scans where they don't find nothing. But your body remembers.”
Gaga continued to receive treatment through 2019, winning an Academy Award for Best Original Song for Shallow from A Star is Born.
While the musical icon had previously told people she had been raped in a 2014 interview, this latest interview opened her up to a lot more emotional pain as she went into detail.
Speaking of her reason for speaking out, Gaga said: “I’m not here to tell my story to you because I want anybody to cry for me. I’m good. But open your heart up for somebody else. Because I’m telling you, I’ve been through it and people need help. So, that’s part of my healing, being able to talk to you.”
The interview can be viewed on the documentary series The Me You Can't See on Apple+
For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email [email protected], visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
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