Take a look at your mates, writes JANA HOCKING, because your boyfriend might be about to cheat on you with one of them – and I (shamefully) speak from experience
- Jana Hocking says the Vanderpump Rules scandal isn’t a one off
- She believes men and women cheat with their partner’s friends often
- ‘I’ve been the victim and (shamefully) the villain in this scenario,’ she says
Take a good look around your friendship group… is there that one friend that laughs just a little too hard at your partner’s jokes? Ever caught her glancing at him a little too long? Ever recognised a shared inside joke they have or catch a hint of flirting.
I’m telling you right now… it’s not the sexy secretary at his work you need to keep an eye on, it’s your best friend!
Trust me, I speak from experience, and I’ve been the victim and (shamefully) the villain in this scenario.
You see I’m a massive flirt. I can’t help it, seriously – I would flirt with a chair if it let me. It’s simply in my DNA. The problem with being a flirt by nature is it can get you in some tricky situations. So I recognise how some friendship groups might find themselves in a spot of bother when one partnered up flirt meets a fellow partnered up flirt. I’m not excusing it, but I can see how it happens.
Take a good look around your friendship group… is there that one friend that laughs just a little too hard at your partner’s jokes? Ever caught her glancing at him a little too long?
Last week, Vanderpump Rules star Ariana Madix (right) discovered her boyfriend Tom Sandoval’s affair upon finding an intimate FaceTime video on Tom’s phone between him and friend Raquel Leviss, causing the two to split on March 3
And confession, most of us fellow-flirters will do it harmlessly throughout our day, like with the person who makes our coffee, or the guy at the bar, but we justify it by thinking well it doesn’t really matter because I’m never going to see them again. But what happens when that flirting reaches your friendship group? From my experience, it’s very dangerous to flirt with someone you are going to see on a fairly regular, and intimate basis.
It starts as a cheeky flirt at a friends BBQ, but then it happens again at a birthday party, and before you know it, you’ve gone out with your bestie and her partner for a boozy dinner and you’re exchanging foggy glances over the chardonnay bottle.
We see it play out time and time again. I had one friend discover her husband was cheating with her best friend when he forgot they had the baby monitor set up in their kitchen, and he took the bestie up to the kids room for a heavy make out session. Yep, all that grunting, groaning and heavy breathing was broadcast straight into the kitchen where both their significant others were sitting. Idiots.
An insider close to Leviss (pictured) expressed, ‘Raquel has left Los Angeles and gone home to be with her family. She knows she hurt Ariana, but doesn’t know how to say she’s sorry’
‘Viewers are treating it like the biggest scandal in the world but take a good hard look in your own friendship circle and I think you will find it’s played out in some form in your own life,’ Jana says
These friendship catch ups are all designed to bond. The lunches, the family trips away, the birthday parties. Add a little booze to the situation and a harmless bit of unintentional flirting can lead to a cheeky affair and a big ol’ heartbreak before you can even mutter ‘oopsy daisy!’.
We’re seeing this very scenario play out on Vanderpump Rules at the moment. In case you’re not an avid viewer like myself, there is a couple called Tom and Ariana, who have been dating for 10 years, but a recent episode revealed that Ariana had found a raunchy video of Tom with her BEST FRIEND (!!!) Raquel getting up to all kinds of sexiness.
Viewers are treating it like the biggest scandal in the world but take a good hard look in your own friendship circle and I think you will find it’s played out in some form in your own life.
I once went out with a very naughty bloke who found himself in weekend detention (aka prison). I was at university and campus was two hours away which meant I couldn’t pick him up every Sunday when he was released. (I know, romantic right!).
The Vanderpump Rules cheating scandal: How it played out
It was revealed that castmates Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss were allegedly having a ‘full-on affair’ for months, leading up to his split from Ariana Madix, Raquel’s close friend.
The cheating scandal broke as it was revealed Sandoval and Ariana split after it emerged he had been ‘hooking up’ with Raquel, DailyMail.com has confirmed.
Leviss and Sandoval ‘have been communicating inappropriately for months’ according to a source who spoke with Page Six, and now ‘want to be together.’
Madix – who dated Sandoval for nine years – is said to have found out about the alleged cheating with Leviss on Wednesday, ending their nine-year romance shortly afterwards.
Split: Last week it was revealed that Sandoval and Leviss were allegedly having a ‘full-on affair’ for months, leading up to his split from Madix; Sandoval and Madix pictured Feb 2023
A source also informed Page Six that Sandoval and Leviss had been meaning to inform Madix about the affair ‘for weeks.’
They waited so long, though, that Madix wound up discovering their secret herself Wednesday night when she saw Leviss’ texts on Sandoval’s phone.
Madix unfollowed Sandoval and Leviss on Instagram after learning about their months-long affair. She also unfollowed Schwartz, who allegedly found out about his pal’s cheating ‘a month ago.’
Sandoval, who is also business partners with Schwartz, wrote on his Instagram that his costar only learned of his infidelity ‘very recently’ and ‘did not condone’ his actions.
Messy: Madix unfollowed Sandoval and Leviss on Instagram followings news of the affair. She also unfollowed Schwartz, who allegedly learned about it ‘a month ago’; Leviss pictured 2022
Anyway, back then one of our mutual friends had a car and offered to give him a lift. Something deep inside me thought this was a little suss, I mean surely she has better things to do with her time then pick him up every Sunday, but I ignored the red flag and let it play out. A couple of months later, after sharing regular intimate car rides with him, another friend called to say she had spotted them at McDonald’s making out in a booth.
Well blow me over with a feather! I was heartbroken, but deep down not surprised. Why, because your gut is never wrong! I had watched their slow attraction build. The inside jokes, the lusty glances. These car trips had brought them close and in a nudie rudie way I was not happy with!
Now you may think this is a one-off event that happens very rarely, but according to research from the University of Colorado Boulder’s Department of Psychology and Neuroscience, Americans who admit to having extramarital sex most likely cheat with a close friend.
Yep! Just over half (53.5 per cent) of those reporting extramarital sex said they were unfaithful with someone they knew well, such as a close friend. The reasoning behind this high statistic was because the two cheeky cheaters had already built up inherent qualities with each other, including emotional intimacy, closeness, friendship, and support.
So there you go. If you think your partner is getting a little too close with your bestie stay alert. It’s a jungle out there! Side note: is nobody loyal anymore?
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