“Did you all watch My Cousin Vinny?” Yes we did Rudy, and it wasn’t as funny as this.
If you thought appearing in the new Borat movie was the weirdest thing Rudy Giuliani would do this month… well, you clearly haven’t fully acclimatized to 2020 yet.
The former New York Mayor was part of a wacky press conference Thursday that involved melting hair dye, a Venezuelan coup plot, and “My Cousin Vinny”.
Sweating profusely, Donald Trump’s personal lawyer stated his case to prove the presidential election was defrauded, by referencing the classic 1992 Joe Pesci courtroom comedy — “one of my favorite law movies.”
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“When the nice lady, who said she saw… and he, uh, he says to her, ‘how many fingers do I’,” — at this point, dropping for some reason into his best Sylvester Stallone impression — “‘How many fingers do I got up?’ — and she says, ‘uh, three…’ well she was too far away, to see it was only two. These people are further away than my cousin Vinny was from the witness,” he reasoned in his argument that the count watchers weren’t allowed to come close enough to see the alleged shenanigans unfold.
Within minutes, Joe Pesci, Marisa Tomei and My Cousin Vinny were all trending, as Twitter tried to digest the brown sticky mess before it.
Even the film’s director Jonathan Lynn got in on the fun, telling THR: “I regard Giuliani’s praise of My Cousin Vinny as generous from the man who is currently giving the Comedy Performance of the Year.”
To summarize, Giuliani — along with the rest of the President’s self-monikered “Elite Strike Force Team” — believes voting machines were rigged by a company loyal to the late Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and his successor Nicolás Maduro, in cahoots with ANTIFA and BLM-funder George Soros.
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Like the President himself and many of his followers, he is insatiably suspicious of how Biden votes all suddenly jumped up in battleground states while everyone was in bed asleep; proponents of this theory have yet to explain however why the supposed hackers let Trump pull ahead at all in the first place, and didn’t just give the lead to Biden from the get-go.
Should the vote-rigging theory be proven and its perpetrators caught, they will hopefully also explain why they let the Senate race on the same ballot slip away, and why they allowed the Dems have their majority in the House reduced.
While Giuliani is certain of President Trump’s irrefutable path to victory, Twitter was more interested in the path the hair dye was taking down his face:
Apparently, even the tech team behind the official YouTube stream couldn’t quite believe what they were seeing, accidentally broadcasting their (NSFW) thoughts on a hot mic, according to one Twitter user who claimed to have captured it:
Incidentally, another tweet being heavily re-shared was an older one, posted in 2016 by fellow member of the Elite Strike Force Team on the podium Jenna Ellis, in which she called arguments supporting Trump “ridiculously illogical, inconsistent and blatantly stupid”, and his followers “narcissists.”
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