My alcoholic dad makes me feel like a failure as he shouts and swears at me

DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE I moved back home, I’ve realised what an awful man my father is.

He shouts and swears at me and my mum, especially when he drinks, and he makes me feel like a failure.

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I’m 35 and male and am staying with my parents while I sort myself out after a break-up with my girlfriend.

He’s 70 and has called me a moron, told me I’m workshy – I’m not, I’ve just had some bad luck with jobs – and said that I’ll never amount to anything.

He even said he was ashamed to have a son like me.

It’s obvious he resents me being there, even though it’s just temporary.

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When I move out, I’m tempted to cut all contact with him, as I don’t need someone so toxic in my life.

But I love my kind, caring mum and I don’t want to make things harder for her.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your dad sounds abusive, bitter, and a negative influence in your life.

It’s understandable you want to distance yourself from him.

Perhaps you can arrange to see your mum separately after you move out, so you can support her.


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My support pack Dealing With A Problem Drinker may help you both.

Contact, which helps people who are estranged from family members.

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