DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE got a thing for Mrs Hinch but sadly my wife doesn’t and she’s now refusing to dress up as a French maid.
She says I’m unhealthily obsessed with Mrs Hinch but I simply admire her style.
I’m 45, my wife is 42 and we have a daughter of 16. We have a lovely home — well at least it would be if it were cleaned properly.
I work long hours as an entertainment manager for a hotel chain and my wife works part-time in accounts so I feel it’s only fair that she does the lion’s share of cleaning.
However, she is happy to let the washing pile up on the side and doesn’t seem to care about the dust gathering. It drives me mad.
Whenever she has free time, she would rather go to the gym than keep the house clean.
I’ve tried encouraging her — I even put up a massive cupboard for her in the garage so she could have her own “cleaning Narnia” just like Mrs Hinch’s but she’s filled it with her workout equipment instead.
We used to have fun together, but I feel we have less in common and she’s pulling away.
We had a great sex life together. We were both up for trying new things so when I asked her to put on a French maid’s outfit and bright yellow Marigolds in the bedroom she was game at first.
I found it such a turn-on and I thought she did too. It became my go-to bedroom request but now she is refusing to play along and I’m really lucky if we have sex once a month now.
Yesterday I walked in the bathroom while she was dyeing her hair. She was using Marigolds to stop her hands getting covered in dye and I couldn’t help but get frisky.
But when I started stroking her back she got angry. If we can’t sort this out, I really don’t see how we can stay together.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You and your wife are on track to go your separate ways unless you can find some middle ground.
Can you agree that each of you do certain weekly tasks – focus on which ones matter the most to you.
Also, if you can run to the cost, can you consider taking on a cleaner?
Your wife is refusing to dress up as a maid as this is so closely associated with the main issue in your relationship.
If you can learn to communicate better and compromise, your sex life will also improve.
It’s time to work out what is most important to you – a happy home or a clean one.
I’m sending you my support pack Relationship MOT to help.
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