I love my partner but his nightmare step-daughter drove me away

DEAR DEIDRE: MY stepdaughter was so pleased when I left her dad that she gave me the finger as I went out the door.

I’ve been with my partner for two years. He is divorced.


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His children, a 16-year-old girl and a boy of 14, live with him. His daughter is very rude to her dad. I’m 51 and he is 52.

We decorated her room but she treats it like a tip, leaving food, dirty plates and clothes everywhere.

Her dad won’t discipline her, so she does what she likes. I’ve tried talking to her but she doesn’t care what I think.

I couldn’t take any more and left a few days ago, as I felt like a cleaner and a taxi service. I’m drained.

DEIDRE SAYS: Please don’t give up on your relationship or on your stepdaughter. Don’t let her behaviour get to you but tell your partner he doesn’t help by letting her get away with it.

Maybe he feels guilty about the break-up of her family when she was young but she needs firm rules.

My e-leaflet on Troubles With Teenagers will help. He can also find support and advice at Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222).

READ YESTERDAY'S DEAR DEIDRE Our sex life is great but my lover still won't divorce his wife for me

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