DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex and I can never resist each other but he won’t give our relationship another chance.
We met six years ago when we were both 21.
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It was like magic and we fell hard for one another. We had a brilliant relationship with lots of laughs and sex.
I got pregnant about 18 months later. It was quite a difficult pregnancy and I know I wasn’t much fun.
He tried to be understanding but got fed up with me moaning all the time and being totally off sex.
Our daughter is a lovely three-year-old now but she was a miserable baby – with a miserable mum.
He at least had his job to get him out of the house. But I felt trapped at home and cut off from all my friends, who were still occupied with work.
I got to see them when one of them had a leaving do in a pub.
My partner agreed to stay home so I could have a night out.
It went to my head and I got wildly drunk. I ended up having sex with a guy at his flat. He’s known as the office player.
It was so stupid. I told my partner I’d stayed with a female colleague but of course he was suspicious.
The guy and I had more sense than to contact one another but one of my other friends messaged me asking what I had been up to and my boyfriend saw it.
He questioned me and I had to admit what I’d done.
It broke his heart. He could not forgive me for what happened and he left, though he does pay maintenance and has carried on seeing our daughter.
We’ve both had other relationships but never really stopped having sex.
He usually stays to put our daughter to bed and then we end up in bed together.
I am single at the moment and he has a girlfriend, though he doesn’t live with her.
It’s not an easy relationship as she’s very possessive and resents him having a daughter.
I would love us to try again but he says he can’t love me like that any more.
I don’t know what to do and it’s breaking my heart.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I imagine your ex’s girlfriend is picking up on the vibe that the two of you are not just caring co-parents.
But he is your ex. He may still lust after you but he’s not got over you cheating on him and he doesn’t see you as a partner any more.
It is a shame he is not willing to forgive one stupid night, but it appears he is not.
Having sex is just keeping you attuned to him. Plus, you could risk transmitting coronavirus.
Unless he is willing to commit, stop having sex with him and give yourself a chance to move on.
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