DEAR DEIDRE: A GUY I know took compromising photos of me and I’m dreading all my friends seeing them or, worse still, my family.
I’m 23 and I dance in an amateur troupe with some girlfriends. We are quite successful — well, we were until lockdown, doing sets in pubs and clubs and sometimes birthday parties.
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We’d hardly been able to see one another for all of lockdown so we decided to bend the rules a bit to hold a joint party last month for a couple of birthdays with guys we knew from the gym.
We are all friends and, before coronavirus, would often work out together and socialise at the weekends.
The party was at a social club near the gym.
It was a great night with dancing and lots of alcohol.
Social distancing was rather forgotten.
When we were walking home, my feet were hurting so one of the guys picked me up to carry me and his mate carried my heels.
My parents were away so I invited them to come in at my house.
We had a bit more to drink and we did some sexual stuff — which I consented to.
These guys are 26 and 28.
When they left I climbed out of bed and realised my bra was missing.
I texted one of the guys the next morning and said: “I need my underwear back.”
He replied: “What underwear? You mean this?”
Attached was a photograph of me tied up and naked apart from my knickers sitting in a chair with a mask over my face.
He’s waving the bra behind my head.
I said: “Yes, I need it back”.
He just sent me lots of laughing emojis and hasn’t replied to my messages since.
It’s playing on my mind non-stop.
You couldn’t clearly see the photo was of me, but I’m scared they may have taken other snaps and are sharing them around.
You know what lads are like. What if they have?
My brother is often in the gym at the same time as them too.
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I come from a family who are well-respected locally and my parents will disown me if they find out.
I know I’ve been an idiot but what can I do to stop any pictures being posted on social media or somewhere else online?
DEIDRE SAYS: It is frightening that men you viewed as friends could behave so horribly.
Sharing sexual images of you is breaking the law.
I’ve checked your problem out with the Revenge Porn Helpline.
Their advice is that you should go straight to the police and not communicate any further with these guys.
They have broken the law against voyeurism by recording you without your knowledge or consent, and there seems to be a real risk of the images being shared, which is a further criminal offence.
If you liked these guys until now and worry about reporting them, first contact the helpline who can advise and support you (email [email protected] revengepornhelpline.org.uk).
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