Why Demi Lovato’s decision to use ‘she/her’ pronouns again is nobody’s business but her own

During a recent podcast interview, Demi Lovato explained her decision to use both ‘she/her’ and ‘they/them’ pronouns.

Demi Lovato has opened up about her decision to use ‘she/her’ pronouns alongside ‘they/them’ about two months since updating her pronouns on Instagram.

Speaking during an interview on the Spout podcast, Lovato – who came out as non-binary in May last year – said their decision to re-adopt feminine pronouns reflected the fluidity of their gender identity, which has changed over the course of the last year.

“For me, I’m such a fluid person when it comes to my gender, my sexuality, my music, my creativity,” she told the podcast’s host Tamara Dhia.  

“Especially last year, my energy was balanced [between] my masculine and feminine energy, so that when I was faced with the choice of walking into a bathroom and it said ‘women’ and ‘men’, I didn’t feel like there was a bathroom for me because I didn’t feel necessarily like a woman. I didn’t feel like a man. I just felt like a human.”

Lovato continued: “Recently, I’ve been feeling more feminine, and so I’ve adopted she/her again. But I think what’s important is, like, nobody’s perfect. Everyone messes up pronouns at some point, and especially when people are learning, it’s just all about respect.” 

Disappointingly (but unsurprisingly), Lovato’s words have sparked backlash online, with plenty of users mocking the singer for changing their pronouns more than once. Some have even used the hashtag #themi to speak about the singer, with many suggesting that they’re “detransitioning” or “reverting” back to their old self because they are using feminine pronouns.

But this is not the case. Lovato’s decision to use both she/her and they/them pronouns doesn’t make her any less non-binary, and it’s nobody’s business except her own. If anything, the online commentary is demonstrative of how little public understanding there is when it comes to gender fluidity.

When they first came out as non-binary last year, Lovato spoke about what gender fluidity meant to them – explaining that their decision to adopt ‘they/them’ pronouns allowed them to “stay both authentic and true to the person I both know I am and still am discovering”.  

Taking to Twitter at the time, she added: “This has come after a lot of healing and self-reflective work. I’m still learning and coming into myself, and I don’t claim to be an expert or a spokesperson. Sharing this with you now opens another level of vulnerability for me.

“I’m doing this for those out there that haven’t been able to share who they truly are with their loved ones. Please keep living in your truths and know I am sending so much love your way xox.” 

Image: Getty

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