We live in a time of Too Much Culture. In 2018 alone, there were almost 500 scripted television series that aired (not to mention the countless unscripted shows) and more than 10,000 films released.
Were most of those movies likely indie films that went straight to DVD, if even that? Maybe. But if you assume that even just 5% of them were released in theaters, that’s over 500 films.
And you know what? I’m damn tired of it. I can’t pay attention to literal thousands of films and series clamoring for my brain space. I just can’t.
That’s not even getting into the backlog of stuff from years past that remains “culturally significant” aka I feel socially compelled to have seen.
That’s why it’s about time we just admit the truth: It’s so much easier to scan Wikipedia summaries of all the new TV and movies and be done with it.
This is the beginning of the plot for Us, a movie I 100% did not see and yet definitely read the summary for as soon as it was released.
Let’s start with the obvious application of this philosophy: horror movies.
Much has been written about the phenomenon of people who read summaries for horror movies they never intend to see, and like…yeah. Duh. Words on a Wikipedia page can’t produce a decapitated head out of nowhere in the span of .5 seconds.
☝️No thank you.
What’s so wrong with wanting to be vicariously frightened without actually having to experience Scary Things™? NOTHING.
Also, let’s not forget about movies and shows with big ~tWisTs~. Nothing says “head directly to Wikipedia” like seeing a whole lot of reviews with “spoiler alert” right in the headline.
Imagine living pre-Wikipedia and not having a way to access every spoiler within five minutes! I could never!
Honestly, even when I see my colleagues writing about the best movie twists, I just use their posts as a list of what to check on Wikipedia later.
I don’t have time to watch 23 movies waiting around for plot twists I know are coming. Just tell me the damn twist already!
But listen, it’s not just about scary movies and wild twists. Wikipedia summaries are perfect for every kind of movie and show.
Everyone at school talking about the latest Marvel movie and you just want to know what a Thanos is without having to spend $15 on a movie ticket? WIKIPEDIA.
All your colleagues at the office still discussing Friends even though it’s been off the air for over a decade and like…it’s really just time to move on? That’s fine — just fire up ye olde Wiki page to figure out why they all keep calling you such a Ross.
Sometimes you just need to know what happens ahead of time so you can cry in the comfort of your own home instead of being caught off guard in the company of total strangers at the movie theater.
There is no situation in which reading the Wikipedia summary is a bad idea. I’m sorry, there just isn’t.
It’s time that Wikipedia readers unite, stand up, and proclaim loudly for all to hear that perusing plot summaries is not only good, it is the BEST way to live.
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